Rushing Through Insanity Skies

Bored.

ajleonheart@aol.com — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 22:14:11 GMT

Haven't done this in nearly 2 years now. But im bored and pissed off

Are you dating the last person you made out with?
Yes

Why do you think people kiss with their eyes closed?
It'd be far too unnerving gazing at each other whilst kissing

Do you think you are a good person?
IAt heart yes. But it gets lost along the way.

Do you still talk to the person who hurt you the most?
No. Why would i?

Do you think you could change for someone?
I am.

Have you ever made out in a library?
No

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Chatted to the missus

Was your last kiss sober?
I don't drink. So yes.

Do you like the person you are becoming?
I really don't know anymore. I thought all this therapy would make me a better person. I thought it would help in my relationship so i could understand my depression and mood swings. But it seems to go unnoticed. And there is always some solace in despair.

Are there things you can't live without?
Possibly. But i couldn't think of them right now

are you a morning person or night?
Night.

Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Yes

When was the last time you were on an airplane?
April time i think

Do you still turn to your parents for advice or comfort?
I never have. I turn to noone.

Do you fall in love easily?
No. Fall in lust far too easily.

Would you kill a hobo for 100,000,000 dollars?
Yes. They are worthless anyway

What can't you wait for?
An easy life. Or death. Whichever is first.

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
Yes.

Do you get jealous easily?
Yes

How are you feeling right now?
Like fucking shit

Have you hugged someone within the last week?
Yes

Does anyone know your password besides you?
No. Been hacked way too many times

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Yes

Something you dislike more than anything?
People who whinge about depression and have no fucking idea. Pisses me off. I'm in no way the most depressed individual. But at least i am not SELF-diagnosed. And rather than whine about it, im doing something about it.

If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be?
The last fat fuck i dated.

Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
Yes. Generally when i'm around drunk people. It's their fault anyway.

Has anyone made you cry recently?
Yes

Whos bed did you last lay on other then yours?
Charli's

What was the last drink you had?
Earl Grey

What is bothering you right now?
Pointless arguments over pointless things.

What are you doing tonight?
Nothing. Might sleep early for once.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Nothing yet again

Did you have a good day yesterday?
No

How's your heart latey?
Troubled

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Yes. But that is another story

How's your life lately?
Getting worse after getting better. No job now, pointless arguments with the missus, endless days of boredom... joy

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine

What was the last conversation you had with someone & what was it about?
Noones business

Honestly, has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?
Of course

Do you prefer fruity or minty gum?
Peppermint

Made out for more than a half hour straight?
May have done. Though i highly doubt anyone could. Talk about jaw ache...

Want someone you can't have?
I don't want anyone. I'm a good boy. For once.

Do you believe in young love?
No. Noone young knows what it is.

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months?
We shall see. I'd hope so

Who was the last person who texted you?
Charli

How many numbers are in your phonebook?
fuck knows

What do people compliment you the most on?
Hair

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them?
No. It's uncomfortable. I prefer lips.

Is there anyone who calls you often when they are drunk?
No. Thankfully. Noone calls me. and i'd only hang up anyway

Someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?
My love

Do you currently have a hickey? Where?
No

Anything you would change about your life right now?
Would rather like a nice job. would rather the last argument with my lady didnt happen

How was your day?
boring.

When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
I am this moment via MSN

Do you have a best friend?
No. Not after the last one...

Do you have unlimited texting?
yes

Are you a forgiving person?
No. I use the nickname VENGEANCE for a reason.

What's something you really want right now?
Be with Charli. Happy.

Does anyone have a crush on you?
I'd expect so!

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Cigarette

Do you have any piercings?
Ears, Tongue

Burger King or Wendy's?
Neither, preferably

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
I don't tell anyone anything.

What were you doing at 10:30 last night?
On this piece of shite

Are you listening to music right now?
Yes. Dir En Grey - Glass Skin

Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today?
Girl. Shes the only one who does.

What is your current annoyance?
Emotions

Are you afraid of roller coasters?
Not scared, i just rather not feel sick.

At what age do you want to be married?
Never. Don't beleive in it

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
Many people. Its horrible. But i feel it's partially me distancing myself from hurt

When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?
A long time ago.

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with an R?
Er.... *thinks hard* I think so... Yes i did!

What does the 5th text message in your inbox say?
Something about wha Charli did today

Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?
Of course

What's the wallpaper to your cellphone?
Me and Charli

When did you first get Myspace?
2001 odd

Which one of your cousins is closest in age?
Dunno, theyre all old

Do you miss anyone?
Yes

Does the last person who put their arm around you mean anything to you?
Of course, or they wouldnt have

Are you wearing socks?
no

Do you have anything in your pockets right now?
No

Are you comfortable with answering personal questions?
no. if they were too personal i wouldnt answer

Would you ever donate blood?
No.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
Yes

Someone on your mind right now?
Was this asked?

Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Not in the least

Who was the last person to sit on your bed?
Charli

Where were you at 2:02 this morning?
Sleeping

Anyone told you a secret this week?
No thankfully

When was the last time you bought something?
Yesterday

In the next 4 months, what are you looking forward to most?
Nothing

Does a cuddle make you feel better when you're angry?
No. It makes me angrier. I'd rather be left alone

What is the color of the thing you are sitting on right now?
Red

Who else is in the room with you?
Noone

Who did you last say I love you to?
Charli. The only one i do

Do you have trust issues?
Yes, for good reason

Who is the last person that commented/messaged you on myspace?
Who knows. Noone really does

Where were you last night?
here.

Look at your recent calls;who was your last call from?
Charli i'd imagine.

Will this weekend be a good one?
We'll see.

Well, sorry for that.

Hottest ghost i've ever seen...

ajleonheart@aol.com — Sat, 26 May 2007 07:11:14 GMT

Which ghost of the 13 are you?
The Angry Princess Beauty comes in various forms. You liked the clothes that you wore, you loved putting on make-up and being an idol amoung girls in your University. But was that really what you wanted? You realized one night that your were just a Barbie doll, a puppet...maybe you drank too much after your boyfriend called to say he dumped you. While you were in the shower, you cut yourself all over with your razor. Mommy came home to see the bathroom flooded with red water and her daughter in the tub, bug-eyed and with her head to the side, leaning against the wall with her mascara running..dead. You are The Angry Princess.
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

BLEH

ajleonheart@aol.com — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 08:42:42 GMT

I wouldn't bother reading this, i'm just incredibly bored, so i'm searching for as many "which ... are you?" sort of tests.

Which member of Malice Mizer are you?

Kozi- Guitarist and one of the cofounders of Malice Mizer. Sometimes humorous, but often a depth of seriousness. Bealieves solitude is essential but doubts he's known to true happiness. He implies to be in an band, you must have isolated feelings. Talented and with a dark edge to his personality. Dedicated to his band. Currently in a new project named Eve of Destiny.
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Which member of Gazette are you?

Gentle and kind hearted, you never put yourself first. You're sweet and innocent...and even look gentle with a gun ^ ^
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Which Dir en grey Member Are You?

You are Kyo.
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Which Dir en grey Song Best Represents Your Inner Turmoil?

egnirys cimredopyh an injection
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If i was your vampire...

ajleonheart@aol.com — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:22:10 GMT

So i came online this morning for my usual downloading frenzy, downloading any JRock i can get my hands on, and what do i learn?

Bou has left An Cafe =(

...Which means absolutely nothing to any of you... But it makes me very sad.

Currently listening to a track from the new Marilyn Manson album uploaded on Myspace.

It's... suprisingly very good.

I used to be a huge Manson fan, but his last two albums are cack. The sound was too commercial, which didn't really suit him. But by the sounds of this song, the new album could mean hes going back to his darker, more industrial past, along the lines of "Antichrist Superstar"

Could be a good album indeed!

My Celebrity Look-alikes

ajleonheart@aol.com — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 09:52:07 GMT

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

Easter Bullshit.

ajleonheart@aol.com — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 20:19:29 GMT

I'm actually having fun writing a Kazuo post for br_roleplay. I'll try getting it up shortly.

So. For easter Sunday, what did i do with my day?

I cleaned my room!

Oh yes. No going out for me!

It was actually enjoyable. I'm a bit of a neat freak.

Plus i have Dir en Grey's "It withers..." tour DVD playing, so it's all good!

ajleonheart@aol.com — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 23:09:38 GMT

Badass Uke
Take Are you a Seme or an Uke? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.</p>

You are the highest level uke. Other uke admire you, some seme fear you. At times, you can even fool other people into thinking you are seme with your mischievous, manipulative attitude, but when push comes to shove, your true submissive nature emerges - all you really want is the punishment. It takes a seme with just enough sadistic tendencies to dish out the punishment you really want, but enough patience not to outright kill you, so you are best paired with the "Don't Fuck With Me" Seme.

ajleonheart@aol.com — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 15:55:18 GMT

I haven't really been online much at all lately and i can't for the life of me think why.

Well to tell the truth, the internet is actually fucking boring if noone i want to talk to is on, so i guess i can think why...

Well i don't think i've written about this yet, and a lot of people already know... But i'm going back into hairdressing. The slon i used to work for is opening up a new shop in Maidstone that'll have the elite of our old salon in it, and me XD My boss also wants me to be a full stylist early next year, to get past all the dull shit because i'm pretty taltented as it is. But the new salon probably won't open for a while, so im gonna just ask if i can start now at the old one. Cause im bored really, and i need the money.

Apart from training for that, i don't seem to be doing much else and yet my time dissapears. I'm actually seeing someone at the moment (read as "i am sleeping with someone but can't be arsed with any sort of commitment right now"), so i'm at hers a lot of the time. I feel like a bit of a toyboy though, she's 24!! O.O

Haha, can't say it bothers me though.

..Also... Nina Hagen is awesome =)

[BR] Roleplay MEME

ajleonheart@aol.com — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 22:14:38 GMT

GENERAL

[01] Favourite version? To read - V4. To play - V5.

[02] What do you like about the RP? The community. We have our little quibbles, but get on a whole lot better than most groups of people do. Plus it realy gets me to do something productive, if i wasn't here i'd be doing shit all.

[03] Anything you don't like? People's tendancies to faction. But hell that happens everywhere, and we still get on well enough.

[04] Are the moderators sexy, very sexy, or very very sexy? I'd give them 3 seconds.

[05] How did you find out about the com? Sophie babbling on about it. I ignored her for months, eventually took a look and got hooked.

[06] What made you want to join? The chance to play my favourite girl in the world. And like i say, it got me to actually do summat.

[07] ... favourite injoke? The 3 second one makes me giggle rather a lot. And Chris... Well he's just an in-joke by himself.

YOUR CHARACTERS

[01] Recap! List all the characters you've played! Hirono Shimizu (v5C) ♥. Jin Matsuzawa (v5OC), Mitsuko Souma (v6C) and "Aya" Eun-Kyung Lim (v6OC)

[02] Which character do you think you played best? Well i'd like to say Hirono given she's my lovah. But i'm actually pretty pleased with Mitsuko at the moment, so i'm going with her.

[03] Which character did you enjoy playing the most? Hirono. By far. The HironoxMitsuko thing is a real guilty pleasure for me.

[04] Which character was the most challenging and why? Mitsuko is incredibly difficult. I can see why previous people have had so much trouble. You'd think having all the backstory would help... But it really doesn't. Personally i'm trying to give her a slightly different edge - i've only hinted at her sexual exploits and such... I've not said whether it happened or not... But yeah...

[05] Which character do you think was/is most like you? Ryo? Possibly Sugimura in canon, sans the looks and martial arts ability. I'm a sucker for emo moments (and I don't know why X_x) and I think I did it well with Ryo (though the 'Shizuru I love you' part was kind of... off) and blew it magnificently with Hiroki. They're both hopeless romantics and has a morbid sense of humor so there. Story of my life, really.

[06] Which has been the most challenging death post to write? Mitsuko's. It's been bubbling around in my head for ages. Because i'm in two minds to paly or kill her, it changes a lot. Hirono's and Jin's meant a lot to me, so they were pretty easy.

[07] Have you ever cried when one of your characters died? It's gonna sound so big-headed... But after i re-read the Hirono death it made me all teary. Mainly because i couldn't go all the way with her... but also because i'd managed to fully control her from start to finish and be pleased with her.

[08] If you had to leave the RP now, what do you think you'd be remembered for? Herpes? The number 3? Being a totaly whore?

[09] Do you prefer to play boys or girls? Girls. By far. To be honest, the only reason i had one guy was because i was too lazy. Call it my "true calling", i just prefer to play girls. I'm not the most manly person in the world.

[10] Do you prefer to play loners or popular characters? Loners. I don't really go for the happy clappy characters. Which is why i have plans for Chisato...

[11] Do you prefer to play characters with a specific sexuality? Lesbians are my forté. It just comes naturally to me. Which is somewhat worrying.

[12] Do you prefer to play good or evil? Well i like to play real people. All my characters have had serious faults - bar Aya - but they have also had a real frailty to their character which i think bbalances them out. Everyone is like that in real life - there are no Kazuo's out there.

[13] Do you prefer to play sane or insane characters? Inasne is fun... but hard. Hirono did go somewhat nuts, but levelled out at the end. It's the same as above. I like characters that are pretty sane, but have relapses. It's just more fun that way.

[14] Have you ever played a character just to see if you could pull them off? Mitsuko. (I wish i could pull her off...*shot*) But yeah i just wanted to see how hard it is to paly. Very.

[15] Are there any characters you regret playing? No. But i do regret not carrying on with Jin. However the death scene between him and Amaya was just perfect to me, so in one way i'm not toooooo sad about it.

OTHER PEOPLE

[01] Which character (excluding your own) has been your favourite to read? V5 Satomi, V5 Yoji, V5OC Shiori.

[02] Have you ever cried reading other people's posts? I think i have once... But i'll be fucked if i can remember which one.

[03] Which made you cry most? -

[04] Who have you had the most fun RPing with? Working with Roppie with the HironoxChisato stuff was unplanned at the satrt, but really became such a huge part for me. I really loved working with her then. Also working with Laura for all of one post in V5OC was interesting too.

[05] Is there anything you envy about other people's writing style? Sometimes i envy the style some people can write in. I think i tend to babble and over-describe too much. Other people don't and their posts are still awesome.

[06] What's the most memorable post you've read by someone else? Chicken!Nobu. XD

CANON SPECIFIC

[01] Which is your favourite canon character? Need to ask? Hirono! <3

[02] Which character(s) are you considering playing? Chisato next version and hopefully Yoshimi the version after to complete the Gang-Girl trilogy.

[03] Are there any characters you'd never play? Shuuya.

[04] Which character do you think would be the most challenging to play? Kazuo. I'll have to try it sometime.

[05] Do you prefer characters who get alot of characterisation in canon, or ones with more freedom? Hirono was a lot easier because i had far more to work with. Freedom gives you far more space to create. Sometimes i feel far too bogged down with Mitsuko's established story.

[06] Do you like playing canon characters in unexpected ways? Yeah. The HironoxMitsuko thing was great fun to write and something i'm a bit of a fan of.

[07] Who do you think has played the most IC character? V5 Satomi. Without a doubt.

[08] Are there any characters that you don't like in canon, but grew to like after someone played them? Kazushi. I fucking hate him, but reading Gay!Kazushi was great fun.

OC SPECIFIC

[01] Have you ever designed a character on yourself? Jin was me.

[02] What do you really think about Kasumi? She likes pies.

[03] Which OC class is your favourite? To be honest, i don't pay as much attention, so i can't really answer.

[04] Is Harue dead, or is she still trapped in a fridge? FRIDGE!

[05] Most likely OC character to be a closet gay? ...What? Apart from Kasumi?

[06] Which OC character do you think has been the most realistic? Haven't read enough to judge...

[07] Which OC character do you think has been the most ingenius? -

[08] Do you find it easy to design OCs? Not really. Too many ideas and only one person.

In other news, i'm a real emo. I bought the new My Chemical Romance album today.

I suck so hard. But it's awesome!

OMG

ajleonheart@aol.com — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 23:26:31 GMT

KasumiShonen: is Condaleeza like...Zulu? Cos maybe this christian talk is putting her off?
Ajleonheart: yeah she is. I think you shuld ask her what sort of beleifs Zulus have. That way youll all get along =)
KasumiShonen: aww, i think shes shy
Ajleonheart: Probably =)
KasumiShonen: how can she afford a computer and the internet if shes African?
KasumiShonen: do u think she lives in a tennament flat thing with holes?
Ajleonheart: Maybe she stole it from somewhere?
KasumiShonen: aww, i'm suprised its not been on the news, spears are counted as dangerous i think
KasumiShonen: aww i really want her to speak :-(
Ajleonheart: She might not wanna speak. Zulu's are usually pretty timid
KasumiShonen: ahh, i c
KasumiShonen: how did she get into the comm?
Ajleonheart: Well it's a quota. Like in shops, we have to make sure we have one person from each race or we'll get into trouble
KasumiShonen: Ooo
KasumiShonen: we just need like a snow person from like Iceland and i think our comm will pass regulations
KasumiShonen: i'll try and find one
Ajleonheart: I think we need an eskimo
Ajleonheart: maybe that or try and find some sort of ape that can use a PC
KasumiShonen: mayb
KasumiShonen: argghhh! I cant believe they accepted that little Zulu bitch into the comm!
KasumiShonen: i hate her already
KasumiShonen: look what her type are like according to google
KasumiShonen: http://misheli.image.pbase.com/u40/arasetti/large/26039073.Zulugirl.jpg
KasumiShonen: you have to back me up here Allen, she shouldnt be allowed in the comm with her African ways, she'll ruin the RP!
KasumiShonen: omg, i'm getting all flustered
KasumiShonen: i need to speak to sum1 like a mod and sort this out
Ajleonheart: I dunno. Not all Africans are that bad. Its the same as Jews. I'm a jew and im not that bad am i?
Ajleonheart: Though i do tend to horde a lot of money...
KasumiShonen: Jews horde money?
Ajleonheart: yeah. we love it.
KasumiShonen: i dont mind that, i'm a stingy bastard too
KasumiShonen: does that make me a Jew or summit?
KasumiShonen: is that how your a Jew?
Ajleonheart: Do you have a big nose?
Ajleonheart: Us Jews have big noses.
Ajleonheart: Oh yeah, while i think of it. Kevin is from Africa too...
Ajleonheart: No wait... not Africa
Ajleonheart: Somewhere around the middle-east i think
KasumiShonen: like India?
Ajleonheart: He comes from Kazakstan
Ajleonheart: I think he's some sort of muslim terrorist too...
KasumiShonen: Kevin is a muslim terrorist!?
Ajleonheart: I think so
KasumiShonen: ALLEN!! You cant just hang around with terrorists! Report him!
KasumiShonen: Allen!
Ajleonheart: I think i might do soon
Ajleonheart: He said "Allah Akbahr" today and it's apparently some sort of code they use
Ajleonheart: I think he might be making a bomb at his house
KasumiShonen: Allah is their God!
KasumiShonen: Dont go to his house again!
KasumiShonen: omg, i wish i could be there to report Kevin to the police
Ajleonheart: I'm at his house now, and i'm a little bit scared.
KasumiShonen: ALLEN LEAVE!!
KasumiShonen: GET OUT!
KasumiShonen: ITS NOT SAfe!
KasumiShonen: r u ok?
Ajleonheart: It's OK, Kevin's asleep
KasumiShonen: try and find evidence!
KasumiShonen: I'm really worried that your gonna get hurt! Just leave or summit
Ajleonheart: He's locked the door, I'll try and get out in the morning
KasumiShonen: omg, does he have a phone?
Ajleonheart: Yes.
KasumiShonen: phone the police or summit
KasumiShonen: i need to go
KasumiShonen: dont do anything stupid!
Ajleonheart: I'm not gonna turn my friend in
Ajleonheart: Talk soon!
KasumiShonen: :-(
KasumiShonen: Bye
Ajleonheart: Bai!

I swear he gets more and more random.

One of a kind

ajleonheart@aol.com — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 01:06:37 GMT

Hell i know i don't live in the US, but still....

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
0
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Unique much?

A Mouthful of Venitian Tar...

ajleonheart@aol.com — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 21:40:13 GMT

Firstly.

OMFG NEW HAIR!!!! YAYYYYSEX!!!!

I absolutely fucking love it! I have a single pic up on my Myspazz page, but it's at a shite angle (i blame Kevin) and it's nowhere NEAR as bright as it actually is. Serious to God, it's so fucking bright. I FUCKING LOVE IT!

Tis incredibly high-maintenance too. Which isn't helped by the fact i only have my mother's hairspray to deal with it. >< Shall have to get some hair clay when i'm not in debt with the bank.

Secondly... I still haven't really sorted the stuff out about Amy yet. I probably should. But i think i'll leave it till i stay with her in Londinium. I did actually call her tonight to sort out when i'm staying, but she won't know for sure until she's had her job interview on Monday.

*sighs* Guess it'll all sort out.

Thirdly. OH MY GOD. I saw Cradle of Filth's new album, Thornography, in HMV the other day and was in despair at my lack of cash. So i came home and had a little search around. After viewing the video for "Temptation" i decided to download the whole album until i can afford to buy it.
Oh my fucking gawd it's perfect. Cradle haven't really been at their best since 2001's Midian, but this album really tears them right back into perfection for me. I shall review under a cut.

1. Under Pregnant Skies She Comes Alive Like Miss Leviathan

It's your standard Cradle orchestral intro. Though unlike it's predecessors it has a somewhat movie-esque feel to it. Not much else to say, but it does really prepare you for what a monster of an album you're about to hear.

2. Dirge Inferno

This track really reminds me of "Nemesis" from their previous album. I don't really think it's the most outstanding track ever, but i think the drum work on this track is absolutely fantastic. Adrian Erlandsson is a God.

3. Tonight In Flames

Another Cradle track that begins with a spoken word intro by Doug Bradley, who some people may know as Pinhead from the movie "Hellraiser". A slower track than the one previous, you are finally introduced to Dani Filth attempting to sing rather than scream. While it's not as good as it is later in the album, it's still a wonderful addition to the Cradle repetoire. About half way through the track there is a beautfiul piano solo while Dani sing/whispers a small paragraph, before the track kicks straight back in amidst another Doug Bradley spoken part.

4. Libertina Grimm

Another speedy track, Libertina Grimm is instantly catchy. I find myself growling along as soon as it comes on. Maybe it's because of the mentions towards German culture... mayyyyybe it's the mentions towards Nazi Germany... Who knows. XD All i do know is Dani really is one of the few lyrical geniuses out there these days.

5. Byronic Man

Ok. PURE FUCKING SEX. It's probably just because Ville Valo is on the track - if only for a brief minute - but fuck me, it made me orgasm. (Which doesn't really take much i guess.) But yes. The track itself is another one that i am drawn to mainly by the lyrics. I'm a bit of a Venice lover and thus the links with that gorgeous place and Byron are just "yayyyy" to me. And then Ville's sex-filled voice fills my mind and i'm well away. Anyways... moving swiftly on O___O

6. I Am The Thorn

This song is another heavy'un. Except right in the middle there is a small spot where it turns almost techno-like. Which is always good, Cradle's techno remixes of their songs are always pretty awesome. And there's an amusing pause and gun clicking which makes me giggle and reminds me of The Deathstars. The track closes down with a fantastic guitar solo by Paul, one of my favourite guitarists and an essential member of Cradle. (Which would explain why he's the longest lasting Cradle member after Dani)

7. Cemetary And Sundowns

A track that i'm actually not too keen on. It's good, but somewhat generic. Plus it stops and starts too many times for one song.... Actually i'm listening to it now and i have to say that the melody is worth mentioning. It does raise my liking for the song.

8. Lovesick For Mina

I love this track. Every now and again there's a song that i can't stop listening to. This is it. It's a beautifully written song, the guitar harmonies aren't overshadowed by power/speed drumming and the slower parts of the song really work well. Plus there is a piano part at the beginning and end of the song that i just can't get out of my head. If anyone wants to download a song to get a feel for this album or Cradle in general, download this. NOW!

9. Foetus Of A New Day Kicking

This track was a preview for the album that i heard a few weeks back on Cradle's site and freaked out over. Now that i've heard the rest of the album, this track seems a little "meh" in comparison. BUT! It has more Dani Filth singing, which is far superior to the earlier tracks. Definitely worth a few listens.

10. Rise Of The Pentagram

An instrumental track. But unlike the intro track and Cradle's previous instrumentals, this is a true "metal" instrumental, basically a full song, just minus the lyrics. An absolutely incredible song that i just love to bits. Also, it's another song with a Doug Bradley intro... though this intro is fucking huge XD Actually i wanna say more... the piano in this track is fantastically linked to the guitar melody and Cradle have added what i like to call the "arabic flute", because i dunno what it actually is. It just reminds me of snake charmers. DOWNLOAD IT NOW.

11. Under Huntress Moon

Another hard and heavy track. There really isn't too much to add to this. It's just Cradle through and through. Not an outstanding "listen to me over and over" sort of track, but it's nowhere near their worst.

12. Temptation

A cover of a Heaven17 song. This song features Dirt Harry. The song starts with a techno-esque intro while Dani sing/whispers again. Then the guitars kick in and the roaring starts. Harry's voice is pretty powerful and i do love it... But there's something about the track that unsettles me and i've yet to find out what it is. Perhaps it is jsut Harry's voice. Either way i do enjoy the whispered parts. Visit YouTube and watch the video.

CONFUSED!!!

ajleonheart@aol.com — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:54:45 GMT

Okieeee... so i've already mentioned this to the two Sophies... but ima post anyway.

Right so i've mentioned my best friend Amy many times before. So yeah i feel closer to her and love her more than anyone... as a friend......

...or so i thought.

I've been giving it a lot of thought lately and come to the conclusion that maybe - just maybe - I love her more than i thought i did.

I shall explain. Since i met Amy, i've had a huge crush on her. Gargantuan. But i never really bothered acting on it cause she's a friend and, at the time of meeting, was pretty anti-relationship. So i left it. Over the course of the next few months i broke up with an ex who i'd been with for a couple of years. Which was pretty hard. I spent a lot of time at Amy's house doing fuck all, but it really cheered me up.

Eventually Amy got a boyfriend and i just let my feelings slide for a little bit and started seeing Sophie B just after Amy moved to London. When i was with Sophie i was really happy so the stuff about Amy faded somewhat. But after Sophie and I broke up and Amy started to visit Ashford i got all excited again and couldn't stop blabbering about her. (As seen in previous El Jay posts)

Eventually Amy moved back down near me for a while because she had no money to live up in London anymore. She worked for a few weeks to have money for a flat up there and then wasted time doing fuck all. (She's a bit of a loner) She invited me out for a drink onetime and i was so excited i just couldn't calm down. Then i went and stayed at her place several times while she was down here and it really felt like old times when she lived in Ashford. We just watched movies through the night, played pool and chatted about everything. I was incredibly happy.

Then she moved back up to London again, but this time we've kept in better contact. Oh, at this point i should probably mention Amy is no longer with the boyfriend. (Something i got incredibly overexcited to hear but probably shouldn't have)

...And this is where the problem starts. There's a girl i really like and who really likes me called Kat. (Also mentioned in a previous post) So around Expo time i'm supposed to be staying in London with her for a few days... and with Amy for a few days after. I know Kat wants to like... date me and everything and i'd kinda like that too. But i just can't get Amy out of my head. And the other night i saw Amy online for the first time since she moved a few weeks back and... well i got really hyper and excited and ended up blabbering how i felt about her.

Strangely she didn't really take it too badly. She laughed and called me a weirdo. Which is exactly how she normally treats me. Personally i think she may have just not beleived i was telling the truth.

Thing is... when i go to London I want her to know i'm not joking and i want to see if there could be anything between us. I don't want to ruin our close friendship... but i just know i'll never forgive myself if i don't at least try... -_-

Well now that rant is over... Tonight i'm going to a gay club! Wheeeee! I could do with the attention really XD (Maybe my plan to infect the world with herpes can go forward after all!)

ajleonheart@aol.com — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 12:35:52 GMT

zOMGz my CD Japan orders are on their way! ^_^

I can't fucking wait.

I didn't really have the money to have the Moi Dix Mois single posted quickly, so i've got it on air mail. But i don't mind waiting a little longer than that. STILL though... Malice Mizer CD and poster here soon! Can't wait. But i think next time i'll do what Ikura does and order stuff at like... £50 at a time, cause P+P is so expensive.

I was gonna write a longer update, but my stomach is growling, so ima make some food. LOLZBAI.

Bleh... ;___;

ajleonheart@aol.com — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 21:16:15 GMT

Ok, so when i worked at Custard (the hairdressing salon) a few years back i was really close friends with this girl called Kirsty. She was a bit of a ditzy girl, but we got on well, had a good laugh together and spent a good deal of time together.

I also got to know her mom quite well. She was a model, rather attractive, and in all seriousness probably the nicest person i have ever met. Also, her husband turned out to be a friend of my dad through business.

Anyway, i had no idea, but it turns out Kirsty's mom had been ill for some time.

And died of cancer last week...

...I feel really weird.

I feel upset, but i can't seem to cry. And i know i want to. Because like i said, she was the nicest person ever and it's so unfair that she's gone. I also want to cry because i don't have Kirsty's number anymore and won't see her for another week, when i get my hair done.

I have no fucking idea what i'll say to her when i see her. If anything to be honest. And i'm actually really annoying myself somewhat because i feel that i shouldn't be upset and that i shouldn't be talking about this, because it was my friend's mom and i feel guilty that i'm sitting here saying "boohoo i feel sad about this".

So i'm gonna leave it at that.

LAWLZ

ajleonheart@aol.com — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 21:19:10 GMT

anbyrobanby: to be fair, if the film's on at stupid o'clock in the morning, it's hardly going to be fluffy <,<
Sjornn: Some films are. XD
AirSphinx: Oh, like "The Armpits of Sjorn's Mother"?
AirSphinx: That was pretty fluffy
Sjornn: Omg, my mum actually saw that...
Sjornn: She was looking. XD
Sjornn: lmfao.
Ajleonheart: XDDD
Ajleonheart: WIN!
AirSphinx: *DIES*
AirSphinx: ^_______________^
KoochiZibble: ... Oh, dear. XDDD

Ikura really does win at life XDDD

On another note, i ordered my first JRock CD of the net! Got Malice Mizer's "Merveilles" on order along with a huge poster. ~~So i can totally jerk off to Mana when i'm in bed~~

AND OMG OMG I CANT FUCKING WAIT TILL EXPO. I HAVE SO MANY FREAKING PLANS BASED AROUND THAT WEEKEND ITS UNBELEIVABLE!!!!

AAAAAAND FINALLY I'M GETTING MY KYO HAIR DONE ON THE 10TH!!!! WHEEEEE

HOLY DUMB FUCK

ajleonheart@aol.com — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 06:31:02 GMT

Well... it's 7:27AM and i've just emerged from an all-nighter! haha
Got chatting to the most awesome girl ever - Kat.

Really cheered me up after my recent spat of emo-ness.

AND worryingly i've become VERY Myspace now. Revamped my whole profile and everything. Worries me JUST how scene i'm becoming O____O

ajleonheart@aol.com — Sat, 23 Sep 2006 19:52:06 GMT

Ok, so i rarely dream... But the night before last i had a weird dream where I had done something naughty (i forget what, but it was probably murder) and i was in this courthouse. Doesn't sound too odd so far? Well my partner in crime was Diru's Kyo... and like he was being uber gay with me... which doesn't make any sense because if i had the chance, i'd be gay with toshiya... But yeah gay activities aside when we were being tried, i noticed that the judge was in fact Mana. I really do wonder about the state of my mental health sometimes...

Also.. If all goes to plan, i should be getting this done to my hair pretty soonish. Except i tend to spend my money faster than i earn it. But yeah... if i get it done in time, i'm very tempted to cosplay Kyo at expo... Also tempted to get real piercings for it too... I miss having them...

Edit - Oh and i forgot. I've now nailed Dead End Expert on DDR and can actually get up to the pause in Max 300 Expert. Then i die. LOLZ

Memento Mori

ajleonheart@aol.com — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 21:17:31 GMT

Well after another several days' break from the internets and not much else happens in my life. I think i spent the other day with James and not much exciting happened. But time passed, so i can't really complain too much. Went out yesterday to see a friend (who didn't turn up in the end) and saw Soph at work. Had a little chat and bought a film, Memento Mori. It concerns a girl who finds a secret diary detailing the life and relationship of two girls in Korea. To be honest, it was both good and shit. As an emotional piece it was fantastic. The way it carefully tiptoed around the lesbian relationship and showed the true frailty of love and emotions was simply brilliant. But as a horror movie it was shite. It didn't really contain any overly scary scenes, nor did it really seem to make sense.

I'll gladly watch it again though.

Watched said film at my best friend's house. She had a weird episode and wanted me to go over, so i did. Even though i had to go out into the middle of nowhere. Spent most the night doing fuck all in a giant shed. Started to watch Silent Hill - Which is fucking made of awesome - but being the knob i am i fell asleep with Amy. In my defence it had somehow come around to being 6AM. Had the most awesome half-day with her. And had i not wanted to go back home and say goodbye to my nan (who was staying at my house) i would have gladly stayed longer. But the strange thing is... I've always known than i loev Amy. I love her more than anyone else i can care to think of. She's helped me through a lot and we have so much in common it's scary. I don't know if it's just my loneliness or whatever but... I think i love her...

...I really suck. ;___;

Edit - OMG and i almost forgot!!!! HAPPY BELATED 23rd BIRTHDAY BOU!!!!! *molests*

Pie

ajleonheart@aol.com — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 20:28:50 GMT

Sophie did me the good favour of purchasing a few DVDs for me today. Visitor Q, When the Last Sword is Drawn and Survival Style 5+.

I only got round to watching Survival Style 5+, but holy hell that's a randomly awesome film! (Even if Vinnie Jones does play his usual cardboard cutout villain in it)

Also, i'm stupidly lonely again. I went out last night, but i got really bummed out and decided to go home early. Quite why i'm writing this is beyond me too, noone reads these things with genuine interest and indeed i hate listening to myself whine.

So i wont.

Stop! Kancho time!

ajleonheart@aol.com — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 14:55:19 GMT

The boy was freaked out. I think tears were even streaming down his face. I don't blame him. In retrospect, I can't even imagine. You're a 12-year-old Japanese boy being forcibly restrained by a large black man who is bound and determined to penetrate your ass. I would have been crying too.

Quote. Of. The. Milennium.

ajleonheart@aol.com — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 15:15:45 GMT

Note to Zrrrrrh!

I'll do the syn tonight when i get home. I forgot last night ~~because i was touching myself.~~

Icons and all that BULL SHIT

ajleonheart@aol.com — Sat, 09 Sep 2006 12:20:17 GMT

Meh, so the girl i was interested in went back to her boyfriend. Women really do suck hahaha. *goes on search for a boyfriend instead*
Also, i really must get another Mitsuko post down. Now that i'm back to spending more time in my house, i could do with catching up on roleplay matters.

Look at your LJ userpics list. If you have fewer than 50 icons, pick every fifth one. If you have between fifty and seventy-five icons, pick every seventh one. If you have over seventy-five icons, pick every tenth one. If you have fewer than ten, pick all of 'em. List them on your LJ, and tell everyone exactly why you have it, why it's interesting to you, what significance does it have.

Well i don't have many, so i'm gonna randomly select the ones i can be arsed to talk about.

This is my 2046 icon. I had the film for fucking ages before watching it and when i did, i cried. I really like unrequited love stories, and this shot between the two main characters really sums the movie up for me. Beautiful story, beautifully shot.

I don't have many icons that i can specifically use to capture what mood i'm in when commenting to a post. But this one i just had to have. Taken from The Eye, this icon just wins on so many levels. It scared the shit out of me in the movie, but makes me laugh my ass off whenever i use it.

I really love this icon. It's not fantastically made, and there's no such word as "addicting", but any icon that has Ville Valo in it gets love from me. Plus being a smoker - and a major egotist - I think the quote applies to me too! XD

What can i say? I adore Rammstein. The shot is taken from promo pics for "Mein Teil" ("My Part", also a play on the word "meinteil" - genitals), while the lyrics are taken from "Zwitter" ("hermaphrodite"). Mein Teil is a song about a relatively recent cannibal who met a guy on the internet whose fantasy it was to be cut up and eaten by another man. The icon is just really gritty and slightly sick. Works for me!

Ahhh Lim Eun-Kyung. Well it's pretty well known i have an obsession with said Korean actress, after having seen her in The Doll Master. I just love this icon, so much, she looks unbeleivably beautiful. I don't really use this icon much at the moment because of my V6OC for br_roleplay_2, it tends to confuse me which account i'm signed on as. -_-'

...O.O

ajleonheart@aol.com — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 21:52:06 GMT

Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

RETARDATION!

ajleonheart@aol.com — Thu, 07 Sep 2006 21:55:08 GMT

Yeah so i noticed something stupid while working on my OC for br_roleplay_2 today.

When i changed Aya from her original design to the half-korean version i forgot to note that Eun-Kyung is, in fact, a first name and not a surname. How do i resolve this problem without going through ALL the info and changing it, changing my claim and getting people to change their profiles?

Simple really, add a surname on the end XD

So she is now Aya Eun-Kyung Lim. Meh, i figure given she's a Korean devil she can have a triple-barreled name. Could be worse, she could be called Jesus.

In other news.... OMFG AMY IS BACK AND OMFG OMFG I SPENT A NIGHT WITH HER. My cloest friend, who abandoned me to go to London is back down in Kent and has FINALLY come out from hiding and seen me a few times. And yeah, the other night we drunk absinthe and watched some films. God i missed her so much. Nothing else in my life makes me this happy. I mean yeah... i am happy. A lot happier than i've ever been. But it's depressing me now that i can't get a job no matter how many places i apply to, and that even beyond then i have no real plans for the future. And yeah i am getting somewhat lonely. There's a girl i like and spend a lot of time with, but she keeps changing her mind whether she's interested or not. One day soon i'll get bored of the whole thing and give up... *sighs* But never mind.